Spreading Love in Sidewalk Chalk

Proud to be an HF-L Cougar <3 <3 <3

Backpacking on the shoulders of friends

When a man with muscular atrophy told his friends that he dreamed of traveling the world, there was one small problem...how could he see everything he wanted to from a wheelchair?  With poor accessibility, even in cities, how would Kevan be able to maneuver in the more remote places like mountains to get to the vistas he was dreaming of?

Cue friends...

Seven of Kevan's closest friends created a backpack that would allow them to carry him in their Eurotrip, allowing Kevan to experience Europe in a way never imaginable via wheelchair.  They raised money online to make his dream a reality and are now creating similar backpacks for the public so that other people, like Kevan, will be able to get out of their wheelchairs and experience more of the world!

When we look for what is in the best interest of others, we often find that we serve ourselves, as well.

Be the change, it might just change you, too!

Thinking Outside of the Box, Employing People with Disabilities

Bitty and Beau's Coffee Shop employs at least 40 capable workers, who happen to have disabilities. 

 I'm pretty sure the world needs more dance parties.  

And I love coffee.  

So on top of the fact that this is a great effort to be inclusive and offer employment to people that generally go unemployed (because of either lack of employers understanding disabilities, or just a lack of "thinking outside the box"),  it seems this idea also brings a whole lot of joy, humanity, and personalization to the daily grind (get it?  coffee shop?)  Badum-ching!

A good reminder...

Love is...

Love is...(insert all of the quotes and poems and information you've ever heard or felt here).

Love may be all or none of those things but I think that Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Langauges, is really trying to get at how each person feels love.  Not only this, but also how giving love in the way a person feels it (or not) can be the difference between a mutual love persisting or not.  As Gary writes: 

People are different. What makes one person feel loved will not necessarily make another person feel loved. By nature, we tend to express love to others in the way we wish they would express love to us. When our spouse doesn't respond positively to our expressions of love, we get frustrated. The problem is not the sincerity of our love; the problem is that we are speaking the wrong love language. If we speak our own love language but not our mate's, we will fail to communicate.

Love, then, is not enough in and of itself, if it is not communicated in a way that the receiver of that love recognizes it.  That is to say, we all have different ways of receiving love, the same way that we all have different ways of learning or receiving information; Some people really need visual information to learn, while others need to be physically involved in the learning process or it will never stick.  The same is true with love, according to Chapman.  Like teachers, lovers also tend to err when they stick to solely teaching or loving others in the way that they themselves learn or receive love the best.  If you learn from simply hearing lectures, it is easy to assume that this is how all of your students will learn, because that is your personal experience with receiving information.  Similarly, in love, if you feel love when other people touch you, it is only natural for you to feel that the best way to express your love for others is through physical touch.  

What Chapman explains, though, is that in love, there are five major modes of expressing love that trigger a receiver to feel the love that you are giving: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Physical Touch.  Each of us tends to feel love when it is shown in certain of these categories, while when love is shown to us via the means of a different category, it's as if the lover were simply talking about the color of the wall; it just doesn't translate for us.  

For this reason, understanding and communicating to your partner about what makes you feel love is really important, not only for your satisfaction, but also for theirs.  Imagine the confusion and stress it must cause to be giving love in the way you think another person should understand, but having that person tell you they feel unloved.  It would certainly be frustrating and hurtful to feel that the person you love feels unloved even despite all of your efforts.  We all know that loving (in any of these modes) takes a lot of courage! Your partner or yourself may feel like your efforts to show your love are unappreciated when in reality they might simply not be translating for the other person in the relationship since it isn't their "love reception style" the same as hearing lectures isn't my learning style and will never translate into useful or memorable information for me because it just doesn't.  If you give me gifts, while I appreciate them, they don't necessarily make me feel more loved.

I highly encourage you to do this exercise with the people that you love;  Take a look at the brief online series that gives the background and basics of the love languages.  If you are feeling that there is no hope, be sure to read the whole thing, anyways and to remember your unconditional love.  When we are feeling unloved or unappreciated, we often shut down or push others away.  The love languages can also be a way to open both ourselves and others up again; it may not be immediate or a joint venture to speak the love language of your partner, but if you find resistance about opening up or seeking help to better your relationships, there are ways to interpret the negativity from our partners to find out what their love language(s) is (are) and to start using those in our communication in order to get back to a place where our own love languages can be understood and expressed back to us.

Love is... complicated, complex, different for everyone, received differently by each individual, can be directed and expressed in many ways for many people...the list goes on.  Find your love language, find the love language of those you care about.  Help others to feel the love you give, and help them to know the best ways to communicate their love to you and then love can really be like "all of the quotes and poems and information you've ever heard or felt." 

We are rising, we are one!

These trolley passengers in San Diego were treated to a special show by Aaron Evans Art and beatboxer Generik LNC with a powerful message of unity. (via A Trolley Show)
Posted by Upworthy Video on miércoles, 27 de enero de 2016

Why Social Media Sucks...From an InstaModel who knows best!

She was a supermodel, originally found by brands from her blog and instagram posts.  She recognizes that social media edits out imperfections that make us all interesting, and are detrimental to our own health and the health of others.  I thought she was beautiful in her still photos (which she explains could take a whole day to pose, shoot, and edit), but she is even MORE beautiful when she speaks so passionately and intelligently about the social media culture and how "likes and numbers" cause addiction to validation from strangers and how she believes we can change and what SHE finds interesting and beautiful!  Thanks, Essenia O'Neill, for shedding some light on this major issue throughout the world as we become "more connected" and "less connected" at the same time.

Tim McGraw - (Always stay) Humble and Kind

Humble and Kind

This song is so special to me. I really wanted a video that showed the universality of the message of Humble and Kind. Thanks to Wes Edwards for executing this vision and to Oprah Winfrey for lending us scenes of Belief from all over the world. I hope you like it as much as I do.

Posted by Tim McGraw on jueves, 21 de enero de 2016

Murmurs

Don't apologize for being who you are.  Don't worry that you were "too" you or not calm enough or too naive or too bold or too blonde or too tall or short or too crazy.  Don't say you're sorry when you're blamed for being yourself.  It's not blame; it's you.  And you don't need to apologize for being you.  Avoid hurting the feelings of others but do not sacrifice your own self worth or well-being to do so.  Don't tell lies.  Seek the truth always.  It's in the best interest of everyone.  Be wildly and courageously you.  Love.  Seek peace and promote it wherever you can.  Demand respect and give it to everyone you encounter, whether they are deserving or not.  Be you and do not apologize.  You are the only one that exists.  You are a masterpiece of brokenness.  A unique one.  No two are alike.  You are special.  Exist in the way that only you can.  Let life flow through you.  Be a siren of happiness.  Be a light in the darkness for others.  While you are a beacon, do not lose your own way.  Be steady, be strong, know yourself.  There is no one more important in your life than yourself.  Those that depend on you need you to be at your best, so care for yourself first.  Those that don't think they need you may find that your influence changes their lives in unexpected ways.  Keep dreaming.  Keep doing.  Keep creating and inventing and working and pushing and evolving.  You WILL find a way.  You WILL change the world.  You will be the best you that anyone has ever seen...and it will be incredible.

"Helping Others": The Meaning of Christmas

"Philly," a homeless man in Louisiana, set up a tree which was then taken away by the city.  

When people in the area heard what had happened, they brought trees, decorations, and gifts (to put under the new trees).  There were so many trees that Philly gave them away to a women's shelter that didn't have any.  He also said that the gifts people brought were for anyone who needed them.  In addition to the gifts that people donated, Philly said he was most impressed that people were giving each other hugs.  When asked what Christmas means to him, Philly already knew exactly how to respond: Helping Others.  Philly, you are an inspiration and you represent the true meaning of Christmas.  Thank you to Philly and all of the people who reached out to him to share Christmas cheer with their community during this holiday season!

If that isn't a story of hope, community, and love...well then I don't know what is.  Happy Holidays!

365 Days of Grateful: A Year Long Lesson for Life.

She took a photo every day for a year, and it changed her life. Now, she's spreading the power of gratitude to others. (via 365 Grateful the documentary)
Posted by Upworthy on martes, 8 de diciembre de 2015

Love trumps all. Seek happiness.

“I won’t give you the gift of hating you” – Antoine Leiris’ powerful tribute to his wife, who died in the Bataclan during the #ParisAttacks bbc.in/1NbYE0q
Posted by BBC News on miércoles, 18 de noviembre de 2015

Hate Cannot Drive Out Hate...Only LOVE Can Do That 

Suicide prevention...being better humans

This is really important for students, parents, grandparents, friends, relatives, strangers, everyone... 'people need to be validated.' BE KIND ALWAYS.

¿Qué hubieran hecho ustedes?
Posted by Benshorts on martes, 18 de agosto de 2015

Who would dare to tell another person that their life is valueless? We need to be better at people-ing.

Let others know that you care, and let them know MORE OFTEN than you think is necessary. Sometimes we feel it so much that we just assume we are saying it, too. Let other people know they exist. Don't see through them. See them. Take them into consideration. Hold doors, defend injustice, seek peace, offer a seat next to you, SMILE! No one should feel useless or unloved or put down or non-existent to the point where he or she no longer sees value in his or her own life. 

Sometimes it's hard to see that value alone...you can help.

Be the change. 

Bubble Gum Love

The Story of Sarah & Juan
When you fall in love with a commercial :) Video courtesy of Extra Gum
Posted by Love What Matters on Jueves, 8 de octubre de 2015

All bodies are valuable!

She stripped down to nothing but her underwear in the middle of a busy marketplace & you'll never believe the response she got: http://on.hln.tv/8KxVpS The Daily Share

Posted by HLN on Miércoles, 9 de septiembre de 2015

Stephen Colbert...in a new light

You may think you know (but you have no idea)...

Colbert: synonym for "funny, hilarious, comic" for some and I'm sure a few choice names for those who either think like his character on the Colbert report or who dislike his mocking of them with his satire.  This Colbert is just a character, though.  It doesn't matter if he agrees or not with what his character portrays or doesn't because, like all of us, before his character, he is actually (gasp) a human being, with a history and a struggle that no one knows about (unless they do...but even knowing part of the struggle that another person faces will never truly allow you to know the full truth of his or her suffering, or even, on the slip side, of his or her joy).

So before you see "Colbert" and decide if you're going to love or hate the recent article on him in GQ magazine (and before you judge the magazine that published the article), promise yourself that as a human being you owe it to yourself to ponder the world through a different perspective once in a while. Promise yourself you'll read the whole thing (because it's long). I promise that if you don't get anything out of the article, I won't mind if you stop reading my blog; because it probably means that either you didn't remove your judgement before reading as you promised or...you're a "bot."

Now, take some time, or bookmark for later, the most recent Colbert report....with no lights, camera, action...just life, focus, positivity, and awe at the beauty of the world.

When push comes to shove...

When push comes to shove we all want the same thing out of life. To love and be loved. That has become a scary word in a time of text messages, social media, and hipocracy. It is a scary word because it means something different to each and everyone of us. Who are we to not approach every person we meet with love? We can learn so much from each other and we all have so much love to give. Take the time to talk to someone you wouldn't normally. Everyone means the world to someone even if they may not think so of themselves. Share the love! It will make the world a better place. We cannot expect respect and love if we do not give it ourselves!

Thanks for sharing A.T.

102 year old dancer reacts to herself on screen

Alice Barker danced in countless shows in her younger years.  She's bedridden now at the ripe old age of 102 years and she still has a smile that can light up a room and a memory for every scene that she is shown.  What a beautiful short that catches the silver screen memory, the reaction, and Alice's own recollection of those days!

Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life!

Beyond technology: Better relationships

When I read the title, I wondered first:  will this be what it actually says?  Or is it a warm and fuzzy that makes you think it's going to be negative but then gets all happy on you?  Is it going to be a true story or will it be some angry person who doesn't have any real experience with it?  Well, the title 5 reasons we can't handle marriage anymore  ended up being exactly what it says...except it wasn't altogether negative or altogether positive and warm-fuzzies.  I think, instead, it was a commentary on life and relationships in general (despite relegation to solely marriage relationships).  The major thing I got out of it was the repetition of a lesson:

Own your technology and your life.  

Don't let technology own you or your life.

It's easier said than done, as the author describes, but it's so true that it hurts to read it...as you try to put down your cell phone or computer while simultaneously continuing to read the article off of the bright-lit screen.

Do yourself a favor:

Take a break.  Do it for yourself and do it for the people you interact with.  Put your phone down.  Don't tweet.  Don't selfie.  Don't listen to music on your iPod.  Exist.  Breathe.  Say hello to someone.  Say hello to your family and friends and coworkers.  Ask about their day.  Tell them about the day you spent NOT hooked up via IV to your technological device.  Tell someone you love them.  Tell them you miss them.  Do something silly.  Make someone laugh.  DON'T post it all online.  And then?  Do it all over again.  How much will your life change?  What will be better?  What will be worse?  Anything?


Is it possible?

I went for over a month without my smartphone when it was left behind in a taxi.  A new friend (that I had met while waiting to board a plane drove 45 minutes while on her vacation to pick up my cell phone from the good taxi driver who returned it to my point of departure and brought it back from overseas to me.  Now if that isn't a whole lot of awesome...there's more.  For a month, I didn't do anything on the train or the bus or while walking except be there.  I talked to people.  I listened to people talk.  I didn't take pictures of everything that I saw that was cool...I made memories of them, instead.

Was it sometimes difficult to navigate without my gps? Sure.  But I grew up before GPS existed...so I found my way, or used mapquest before I left, or I ASKED people.  Real people.  In real-time.  Was it a little more difficult because my weather app didn't tell me everything that might come my way?  Sure...but my morning walk with the dog did, so it worked out!  Was it hard not to be accessible all the time?  Yeah, of course, especially when I had a lot of people trying to contact me about issues with my apartment but you know what?  Not being accessible meant I wasn't constantly distracted by messages and people and events pulling me away from what I was doing.  It's a teeter totter.  A balance.  You can't let technology (and all that it brings and offers) be in control of you.  You can't let the feaux-reality of the internet distract you from the reality that is your own life (nor the fact that the "reality" you are seeing is not "the whole truth and nothing but the truth").

When I got my phone back?  I still kept it on me but I use it less.  I text less.  I've been more prone to calling.  I've never been one to selfie, but I'm exceedingly aware of the standards that we are all comparing ourselves to of beauty and of lifestyle and it's stressful and hurtful.  I wonder why we do that?  I read recently "imagine what would happen to beauty care products if women all woke up tomorrow and realized they are already beautiful?"  Holy cow.  Chills.  It's true of men AND women.  We're all competitive and most of the time I think we don't even notice it.  Technology emphasizes it because we pick and choose good shots and good stories and best angles.  We comment and like posts anonymously and we are liked and commented on anonymously in return.  It's nice...but it's also not real.

Those days without a cell phone?  I found out it's easier to make eye contact with someone and compliment them on their cool shoes or nice jacket.  It's easier to tell the old man that there's a garbage can two feet away to the delight of other passengers who also noticed him throwing his trash on the ground around him.  It's easier to interact, period.  So go interact.  Don't lose your ability to interact and to read gestures and facial reactions and body language because you're too busy communicating through a dead device.  Live.  Love.  Show people.  Be physical.  Be real.  Be alive.

Maybe if you do, that article won't have to be so shockingly close to home forever.

Sharing is Caring...

My last post was about the changes that life affects in us.

I wonder how many of us can relate with THIS part of our lives.

This is a lesson in sharing from the people who know best:

Do you share?  Even when no one asks you to?

Do you help when you see someone else in need (even when you don't know the reason)?